I started The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis this week (hence the name of this blog). I was struck, as I'm sure many are who read this book for the first time, how eerily relatable this book is. I don't like what it shows me about myself. So I decided to create a space to write about my daily struggles of noticing and resisting the enemy. ( I use the terms "write" and "daily" loosely, of course). My hope is that it may offer clarity. We'll see.
I have attempted to journal the old fashion way many times.You know, fancy notebook, pretty pen, but I don't like my handwriting. So here I sit, upon my duff, with the neon glow of the computer screen and the hum of the hard drive. Giddyup!
A thought came to me while I was meeting with my spiritual director a while back. I feel like I am on a long distance call with God. Not long distance as we know of today. There is no Skyping here. Long distance as in far away, crackling, picking up other frequencies on my fancy, new, cordless telephone.
My mom remembers having some sort of "party line" when she was a kid. Not the party line of the 90's, where you chose to allow a third person on the line (whether they knew they were part of the "party" or not) but apparently this was where you shared your phone lines with your neighbors. You never knew who was listening in. Old ladies would get on the horn and blast you for taking too long discussing the latest paper doll and they insisted you "hang up so they could call Gladys immediately!" Your conversation, your issues, concerns, were never as important as someone elses.
Yeah, that kind of long distance call.
The kind that is really important to me and costly.
The call that you have been waiting for, even if you didn't know you were waiting for it. You know, like Ed McMahon showing up with balloons, camera crew and a check the size of a Prius.
The kind of call you get where you would do ANYTHING to keep the other person on the line.
Anyway, I've got God on long distance and guess who is sitting right next to me. That's right. Ol' Screwtape himself. So, how do I tune out the crackle and tune in the truth? How do I ignore the retched, stank breath on my neck constantly trying to convince me the lies are true. He's so close.
Can I tune God in so he's louder, more clear?
Can I do anything?
No.
Well, that's not entirely true. I can choose to pray for ears to hear.
I can choose to give thanks for the truths that are revealed to me.
I can choose to be grateful for His gifts and blessings.
I can choose...
It's a start.
I think I will keep him on speed dial. #1
Until next time.
